“Sir Ernest wished to revise the weekly menu and would undertake to do it himself, in his usual way, putting down all the most popular dishes first. By the time he got to Wednesday, they were all appropriated and there was nothing left but plain seal hoosh for all the remaining meals for all the rest of the week. After asking me for suggestions—and finding me barren of ideas—he rose with a sigh and said, ‘Well perhaps you had better make it out yourself.’

“I promptly destroyed Sir Ernest’s essay and substituted one based on the only rational method, i.e., distributing the specially good dishes at equal intervals throughout the week, then the less-good similarly, and finally filling in the blanks with the plain seal hooshes. Within five minutes it was complete, approved and signed by Sir Ernest. It’s much best to leave things like this to the specialists.”

— Thomas Orde-Lees